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Fang's SpaceDecember 06 untitled, incompleteAnother day is spent without you next to me, Another day is spent waiting, Hoping, praying, for a day that may never come. November 13 Graduation RantA while ago I heard Tim is leaving for Melbourne. The news came as a shock, though in a way I guess I wasn’t really surprised. I have always known Graduation will mark the end of a phase, a time of changes. Tim’s leaving is only the first sign of change, an indication that this time has arrived.
Having been a student for as far back as I can remember, this time of change brings to me a mixture of feelings. So many things that I was once so certain of now I am doubtful, while many things that were once undetermined now appears so much more assured.
I look at myself, and see the ocean of potential that I once had as a child, the limitless dreams and the endless possibilities, a universe of people I could have become that has since slowly dwindled to the person I am now. Often I admire myself for the qualities I have gained as a person, yet more than all else I am also disappointed that I have not become someone more influential, more excellent, more elite.
I am a result of the many choices I have made in the past, often I wonder how right those choices that I made really are.
The next twenty years will come as quickly as the last twenty have left. I would have seen a bit more, learnt a bit more, grown a little more, as the possible people I could become continues to diminish. Who will I be then? What would I be like? Will I again feel the same sorrow when I see myself in that time? Only time will tell… October 09 Pre-exam updateOk... yes.... fine.... I know I haven’t done this in a while…. I’ve been lazy, but I’ve also been busy. For those of you who don’t know me and are somehow drawn here by forces unknown, I am in my final semester for my Bachelors degree from the University of Auckland. And so consequently, and justifiably, I have been busy. The twenty-fifth day before my first exam has just come to an end. An estimation estimated to the best of my estimating ability of 134 hours of study and assignments is required before then, followed by another 20 over the 8 days after. I decided to write a final entry before the commencement of my preparation, funny how I always manage to procrastinate before the most difficult or tedious of tasks. Here, in my room, at 1 in the morning, this is the result of my procrastination. For those who haven’t yet realised, I am here purely for reasons of procrastination, and do in actual fact, have nothing to write about. Well I do but…. nah…. Hmm… thank you for your many influential inputs over the past Jamie, after reading what I just wrote I now officially admit to the gayness of my own blog. Lets hope I’ll be just a little more inspired when I come back – by delight rather than despair :) See you all after. August 24 Good FriendToday was an easy day. I finished all my classes by noon. I went to the gym, did what I could, then realised I have another 10 minutes before my bus would arrive. I was walking around contemplating what to do when I was pleasantly surprised by a good friend whom I don't see very often.
We exchanged our greetings and enquired about each other’s day. The time passed quickly and it was only a moment before we exchanged goodbyes and went our separate ways again.
The encounter was brief, the conversations were simple. There was nothing to it. Yet somehow everything was more colourful and the world became brighter as I walked out of the building on my way home. I found myself carrying a subtle smile throughout the rest of the day.
Such is the quiet, genuine joy that I experienced today.
I am thankful for this feeling,
I am thankful for this day,
I am thankful for this good friend. August 10 LifeHaven't written in so long. Been busy.
Not too busy to write, but too busy to think.
It's a frightening thought how even at my age, life can sometimes fall unsuspectingly into a pattern, a cycle, where I can go on for days, or even weeks living out a mindless repetition of life's events, without stimulus for original thought, nor time to reflection upon the meaning of what I do.
Is this a sign of growing up? Or is this a sign of growing old?
Is this a sign of losing the curiousity, the yearning, and the passion for life which makes it so worth living?
Haha, so late. More assignments and reports tomorrow :)
Will have to finish this another time... July 22 Letter to AnonymousDear Anonymous,
So much was left unsaid as I watched you disappear into the crowd after our simple words of goodbye. Reminds me of the feeling when the last crimson rays of daylight disappear behind the horizon on a cloudless summer evening.
Will the sun rise again?
Missing you...
Peter July 19 When we are 65Well well. I guess blogging for the first time is a lot like doing anything for the first time.
There was the build up of anticipation, followed by the rush of excitement. It's over before I know it as I impatiently wait for the feedback on my performance.
Then I'm back at square one, waiting for it to happen all over again :)
14 readers, 3 comments. That's not bad... thanks to all for being warm and gentle with my first time blog.
Thank you for your comments, and please do keep leaving them. I do appreciate the feedback.
I have just finished reading "What I Didn't Learn At School But Wish I Did". A book review would be much too long, so here's an extract from right after "Contents". I thought it's very interesting.
"When do you measure Education's Success, at Graduation or Retirement? The following facts exist for every 100 people at age 65." (this is in australia)
"Did you know...
25 are dead
20 have annual incomes below $10,000 (Below poverty level)
51 have annual incomes between $10,000 and $35,000 (Median is $18,000)
4 have annual incomes over $35,000
1 is a millionaire"
etc, etc...
Having money doesn't bring happiness... mmm...i'd like to have the chance to prove that someday.
But not having money sure brings pain...
Bleh, just food for thought... i'll try to keep it short(er) next time :0
Guess it's back to waiting again for me... July 15 first blogIt was only recently, and only by happenstance, that i discovered the secret worlds hidden behind the little yellow stars that would from time to time appear beside the names on my msn contact list. I learnt these worlds are known as blogs.
Travelling between these worlds have since then become a hobby, a favoured passtime every so often from which the experiences can vary greatly from pure silliness to bonding to become most thought provoking. And yet always entertaining. It is from these great experiences that i feel the urge to create a world of my own, a place where my own thoughts and passions and experiences may roam the plains of cyberspace unobstructed. For better or for worse.
This is my blog. This is my first entry.
The only thing i can think of to write about now is an experience from a while back. Just before exams began.
I had just finished studying for the day, though it was still light. On my way out, i passed a friend of mine. We exchanged simple greetings, and went out separate ways. However, from that point onwards to the bus stop, every person i passed on the street appeared to smile warmly at me. Initially i thought it was just luck, then i decided it was due to my good looks, but eventually it got to the point when i could no longer attribute it even to my asian charms. I continued walking dumbstruck, before finally passing in front of a shop window. Seeing my own dark reflection staring back at me from the glass, I discovered it was I who was smiling.
Smile more :) it makes the world a happier place. |
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